Mid-Pacific Promotions Newsletter #008

Hello fans and welcome back to another episode of the SPWA’s Mid-Pacific Promotions.   Reggie Parks comes out and says that it is time for there to be MPP Tag Team Champions.  He says that over the last 4 weeks, MPP has visited bingo parlors and other smaller venues within the island chain to start to determine who will become the new MPP Tag Team Champions.  Reggie cuts to a video that shows the first two rounds of matches that have already taken place.

·         The Bruise Brothers, lose surprisingly to the team of Knuckles Nelson & Paul LeDuc

·         Lance Cade & Zema Ion could not hold a candle to Prof Tanaka & Jumbo Tsuruta who defeated them solidly.

·         Samoa Joe & Yokozuna demolished the team of Crash Holly  & Brian Kendrick

·         Edge & Christian proved their dominance vs Essa Rios & Dolph Ziggler

·         King Curtis Iaukea & Prince Iaukea did the home team proud by defeating Damien Sandow & Finn Balor although there was a question of some funny activity.  Finn Balor says that things are in serious need of a change and next week, things will get real.

·         The Ascension needed no help in defeating Billy Pearl & Lenny Lane

·         A-Team (Aries & Cesaro) outwrestled Firebreaker Chip & Scott Vick to advance

·         Big Bully Busick & Bull Pain lost to the MMA duo of Dan Severn & Ken Shamrock (match took place before the SPW draft on 4/27)

In the second round, we had more eliminations:

·         The Ascension wiped the mat with King Curtis & Prince Iaukea to advance

·         Prof Tanaka & Jumbo Tsurtura defeated Severn & Shamrock.  S&S were then dropped after the 4/27 draft.

·         The A-Team beat Knuckles Nelson & Paul LeDuc in what was really a joke of a match.

·         In the surprise of the night, Samoa Joe & Yokozuna w/ Mr. Fuji defeated Edge & Christian (this was before the attack on Edge at Island Slugfest)

We’re now caught up.  There are two matches that will take place next week and then after that, we will crown new Tag Team Champions. 

Backstage, CM Punk is confronted by Batista.  “You trying to make a name for yourself BOY, you ain’t gonna do it at my expense.  What you will get is an ass kicking if you got the guts to get in the ring with me.”  Punk agrees but says that if Batista is the BMOC he thinks he is, then he should put his career on the line.  Batista, unworried, agrees.

First match is the Dr. of Thuganomics John Cena w/ the Grand Wizard taking on Brian Kendrick.  Kendrick comes out first and is dressed mockingly like Cena.  He pretends to be all ‘thuggy’ and gets a good laugh from the fans.  Cena and the Grand Wizard come out next and he has a mic.

“Hey yo Spanky

Dude, you're just a copycat of me

I've been watching your progression

Kid's got an obsession with trying to steal my Ruthless Aggression

In his first match against an Olympic Hero, he took him to the limit

The next minute, he's rocking velours, claiming that's HIS gimmick?

Dude, he's exactly like me.

Oh no no no, I'm ten times bigger.

You want to be me so bad?

You're smaller than my action figure

But you'll never be untouchable

I don't care how hard you try to

Dude, I served you quicker

than a Burger King drive thru

And with a name like "Spanky"

Dude, he never gets a date

He's always arguing in groups

because all he does is masturbate

So I'm past you, little Rascal

You and your kiddy tricks

You want to spank something?

Dude, go home, spank on your []

The fans boo Cena and cheer Kendrick but Cena attacks him before the bell can even begin.  It doesn’t last long as Cena totally underestimated Kendrick and try as he could, the Grand Wizard couldn’t get him focused.  At the 9 minute mark, Kendrick caught an unsuspecting Cena with a swinging DDT and made the cover for the 3 count.  Brian Kendrick gets the win and a furious Cena attacks him afterward locking him in the STF.  Finally, Cena lets go and kicks Kendrick a couple of times for good measure.   What a spoil sport!

Update on Edge:  He is recovering nicely and says he’ll be back soon and when he is, he will have something to say.

Next up, Professor Tanaka is in singles action against the Berserker.  The Berserker is in the ring and Tanaka comes out with Luscious Johnny V.  Not sure what is going on out there but in another upset, the Berserker catches Tanaka with a front powerslam and gets the win.  The Berserker runs around the ring going “Hep….Hep….”  Johnny V escorts a peeved Professor Tanaka from the ring.

Samoa Joe cuts a promo and tells the Rock that his days are numbered.

Next on the card is Lance Cade taking on the former World Champion Dean Malenko.  This one barely gets started as Malenko immediately dropicks Cade’s knee and then locks him in a Figure Four Leglock.  Cade immediately tapped out giving the win to Dean in just 30 seconds.  Malenko doesn’t stick around and takes off.

Dave Millican, from his office, announces that MPP has picked up to rare individuals and brought them into the MPP family.  They are none other than AJ Styles and ‘the Handsome Half-breed’ Gino Hernandez.  They will be expected here next week.

It’s time for the Main Event.  Batista comes out first to a good pop from the crowd and got a good laugh when he stopped in front of a fan and said “Hey look…Blue Pants”.  The fans had a good chuckle at that and the monster enters the ring.  Next, CM Punk comes out and the fans boo him.  The two go toe to toe and where Batista tries to leverage his power, Punk counters with his speed.  We join the match at the 19 min mark.

===== In the 19th minute of the match: =====

CM Punk rolled OC.

Batista rolled DC

CM Punk executes a LEG LARIAT....

CM Punk scores 8 points.

Batista absorbs the punishment.

Batista scores 0 points.

===== In the 20th minute of the match: =====

CM Punk rolled OC.

Batista rolled OC.

CM Punk executes a KOJI CLUTCH....

Batista executes a BACK ELBOW SMASH....

CM Punk scores 10 points.

Batista scores 6 points.

CM Punk straps in the KOJI CLUTCH.

Batista does not submit!

===== In the 21st minute of the match: =====

CM Punk rolled DC

Batista rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

CM Punk rolled OC.

Batista rolled OC.

CM Punk executes a ROUND HOUSE KICKS....

CM Punk scores 7 points.

Batista executes a SIDEWALK SLAM....

Batista scores 8 points.

===== In the 22nd minute of the match: =====

CM Punk rolled DC

Batista rolled OC/TT

Batista executes a SIDEWALK SLAM....

CM Punk reverses SIDEWALK SLAM!

CM Punk executes a SHINNING WIZARD....

CM Punk scores 7 points.

Batista absorbs the punishment.

Batista scores 0 points.

CM Punk is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...3

Batista was pinned by CM Punk!!!

CM Punk wins with a SHINNING WIZARD over Batista!!!

With that, Batista is now out of Mid-Pacific Promotions and enters the free agent market. 

With Batista gone, MPP resigns Ultimo Dragon to fill the roster vacancy.  Dragon had one condition though and he wanted to see a Light Heavyweight title created.  Dave Millican said he would agree to that.

Thanks for reading.  More to follow.

Note:  Dropping Batista; Adding Ultimo Dragon (roster should be updated to reflect this now.)